Sunday, June 19, 2011

0054: WALL-E

Shelby Forthright, BnL CEO: [Shelby appears onscreen in an old classified recorded message] Hey there, autopilots. Got some bad news. Um... Operation Cleanup has, well uh, failed. Wouldn't you know, rising toxicity levels have made life unsustainable on Earth.
Captain: [to himself, looking at healthy plant] Unsustainable? What?
Shelby Forthright, BnL CEO: Darn it all, we're gonna have to cancel Operation Recolonize. So uh, just stay the course, um... Rather than try and fix this problem, it'll just be easier for everyone to remain in space.
Captain: "Easier"?
Shelby's advisor: Mr. President, sir. Sir! Time to go.
Shelby Forthright, BnL CEO: [overlapping] Uh, I think - huh? Okay, I'm giving override, uh, Directive A113. Go to full autopilot. Take control of everything, and do not return to Earth. I repeat, do not return to Earth.
[puts on his gas mask and starts to leave]
Shelby Forthright, BnL CEO: Let's get the heck outta here. 


Monday, June 13, 2011

0053: Sin City

Shellie: If you're gonna slug me, just go ahead and get it over with, you sick bastard.
Jack Rafferty: There you go, lying about me again in front of my friends. I have never hit a woman in my life.
[Jackie-Boy hits Shellie in the face




Friday, June 10, 2011

0052: The Green Hornet

Mike Axford: You are blowing this guy completely out of proportion. 
Britt Reid: I will blow this guy in any proportion I want! 


Check out my review of the Green Horney HERE

0051: Point Break

Bodhi: It's basic dog psychology, if you scare them and get them peeing down their leg, they submit. But if you project weakness, that promotes violence, and that's how people get hurt. 
Roach: Peace, through superior firepower. 



Wednesday, June 8, 2011

0050: Monsters verses Aliens

B.O.B.: My, would you look at the size of that...
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: Foot!
[Cockroach and Link jump out of the way, as the robot steps on B.O.B]
B.O.B.: [from the sole of the robot's foot, as it's walking] I got him you guys! I got...
[robot takes a step]
B.O.B.: Don't worry, I won't let go! I'm wearing him do...
[robot takes a step]
B.O.B.: Please tell me he's slowing down!
[robot takes a step]
B.O.B.: Please tell me he's slowing down! 




Tuesday, June 7, 2011

0049: Men in Black

Kay: All right, Beatrice, there was no alien. The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.
Jay: Wait a minute. You just flash that thing, it erases her memory, and you just make up a new one?
Kay: A standard issue neuralyzer.
Jay: And that weak-ass story's the best you can come up with?
Kay: On a more personal note Beatrice, Edgar ran off with an old girlfriend. You're gonna go stay with your mom a couple nights. You're gonna get over it and decide you're better off.
Jay: Well, yeah, you know, 'cause 'cause he never appreciated you anyway. In fact, you know what - you kicked HIM out! And now that he's gone you're gonna go into town, you go to Bloomingdale's and find some nice dresses, get yourself some shoes, you know, find somewhere, maybe you can get a facial. And, uh, oh - hire a decorator to come in here quick, 'cause... DAMN. 




Monday, June 6, 2011

0048: Billy Madison

Billy Madison: No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? this girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll. 



0047: Apollo 13

Jim Lovell: Houston, we are venting something out into space. I can see it outside window one right now. It's definitely a... a gas of some sort. 
[pause] 
Jim Lovell: It's got to be the oxygen. 



0046: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie Film for Theatres

Cybernetic Ghost: [attempting to distract Aqua Teens] Thousands of years ago I ran for treasurer of student council 
[Frylock slams door] 
Cybernetic Ghost: . It involved a lot of hard work! We decorated many cookies. We spent all night putting up green frosting and then we drew up many posters but the principle called me down to her office and informed me that I had violated election rules... 
Carl Brutananadilewski: [walking over] Yah thousands of years ago I kicked your ass... and I'm going to do it again right now! 
Cybernetic Ghost: That is what Sister Margaret kept telling me if I displayed my physically agenda in her bathroom 
[Carl whacks off Ghost's head with Tire Iron] 



Saturday, June 4, 2011

0045: Cast Away

Chuck Noland: We might just make it. Did that thought ever cross your brain? Well regardless I would rather take my chance out there on the ocean, that to stay here and die on this shithole island spending the rest of my life talking to a god damn VOLLEYBALL



Friday, June 3, 2011

0044: The Town

Doug MacRay: I need your help. I can't tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it later, and we're gonna hurt some people. 
James Coughlin: ...Whose car we takin'? 



Wednesday, June 1, 2011

0043: Kick-Ass

Damon Macready: So... Have you thought a little more about what you might want for your birthday?
Mindy Macready: Can I get a puppy?
Damon Macready: [surprised] You wanna get a dog?
Mindy Macready: Yeah, a cuddly fluffy one, and a Bratz movie-star make over Sasha!
[Damon is stunned]
Mindy Macready: [laughs] I'm just fucking with you Daddy! Look, I'd love a Benchmade model 42 butterfly knife.
Damon Macready: [relieved] Oh, child... You always knock me for a loop! 




0042: Toy Story 3

Buzz Lightyear: Hold on, this is no time to be hysterical! 
Hamm the Piggy Bank: This is the perfect time to be hysterical. 
Rex the Green Dinosaur: Should we be HYSTERICAL? 
Slinky Dog: No! 
Mr. Potato Head: Yes! 
Buzz Lightyear: Maybe! But not right now! 
Hamm the Piggy Bank: C'mon. Let's go see how much we're going for on eBay. 



0041: Shutter Island

Teddy Daniels: So, what's our next move? 
Chuck Aule: You tell me. 
Teddy Daniels: I gotta get off this rock, Chuck. Get back to the mainland. Whatever the hell's going on here, it's bad. 
[pause] 
Teddy Daniels: [sotto voce] Don't worry, partner, they're not gonna catch us. 
Chuck Aule: That's right, we're too smart for 'em. 
Teddy Daniels: Yeah, we are, aren't we? 
[pause] 
Teddy Daniels: You know, this place makes me wonder. 
Chuck Aule: Yeah, what's that, boss? 
Teddy Daniels: Which would be worse - to live as a monster? Or to die as a good man? 



0040: How to Train Your Dragon

Hiccup: This is Berk. It snows nine months out of the year, and hails the other three. What little food grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here, even more so. The only upsides are the pets. While other places have ponies, or parrots... we have dragons.